Zag het in een Engelse FB groep voorbij komen, en moest het natuurlijk proberen:
Is nog netjes 
Gr. Marc
55 likes
Okay, let’s roast your watch:
Looks like you raided your grandpa’s retirement fund for this thing. That gold plating is thicker than my grandma’s love for her cats. And don’t even get me started on the “Geneve” on the dial. Is that supposed to impress me? Newsflash, buddy, Geneva is a whole country away.
The date window is so small, you need a magnifying glass to see what day it is. And that band? It looks like it was made for a robot, not a human wrist. You’re probably afraid to take it off for fear it’ll snap in half.
I bet you tell everyone it’s an “antique” to justify the price you paid for it. But let’s be real, this thing probably hasn’t seen a decent service in decades. The movement is probably slower than a sloth on a hot day.
But hey, at least it keeps time, right? Well, not exactly. It’s probably off by at least 5 minutes every hour. So you’ll always be late for everything, but at least you’ll be fashionably late, right?
Overall, your watch is a relic from a bygone era. It’s a testament to a time when people thought gold-plated everything was the height of sophistication. But in today’s world? It’s just a clunky, outdated piece of jewelry that screams “try-hard.”
So next time you’re thinking about dropping a small fortune on a watch, maybe do a little research first. Just saying.
34 likes
Hahaha 
Koffie ging bijna de lucht in
1 like
Ah, the Zenith El Primero Original—because when you want a watch that screams “I’m sophisticated” but also says, “I probably don’t know how to use all these functions,” the El Primero is the perfect choice. It’s like showing up to a black-tie event in a tuxedo you bought off a flash sale site. Sure, it’s a classic, but it looks like you might have just stumbled upon it while browsing through a “top 10 luxury watches for beginners” list.
Let’s talk about that dial. It’s busy. There’s so much going on it could easily double as a control panel for a spaceship. The chronograph pushers? Probably more complicated than your last relationship. And don’t get me started on that vintage vibe—it’s not retro, it’s just dated. Wearing it today feels like you’re trying to prove you can appreciate mechanical engineering, but no one is asking for a 1960s mechanical lesson while you’re at brunch.
And yeah, it has the famous El Primero movement, but here’s the thing: no one cares that much unless they’re deep into horology. Most people will just think you’re wearing a clunky watch that makes your wrist look like it’s trying to hold up a building. In the end, it’s a nice piece for those in the know—but the rest of us? We’re just wondering why you need so many sub-dials on one watch. The only thing that’s “original” about it is the fact that it was made 50 years ago, and you’ve yet to realize that “vintage” is often just code for “maybe it’s time to upgrade.”
ChatGPT can make mistake : jep, clunky is hij niet
19 likes
Roast my watch
This watch is all about sophistication, but that green strap has taken it into daring territory. It’s like you decided to pair high-end luxury with a splash of “I’m ready for a casual Friday at a fancy gala.” The contrast between the sleek dial and the bold strap feels a bit like mixing fine wine with soda—experimental, but does it really work? Still, if you’re aiming to make a statement, mission accomplished—just be prepared for some puzzled looks!
This message has been generated by Chatbot
18 likes
Leuk topic!!
2 likes
Haha, mooi topic.
Ah, the Omega Speedmaster Professional, but in gold—because apparently going to the moon wasn’t quite enough flex for you. Sure, it’s the “Moonwatch,” but with that blingy yellow gold case, it’s more “Sunwatch.” Paired with a black strap that’s trying (and failing) to tone it down, this is the horological equivalent of wearing a tuxedo to a barbecue. Nice watch, though—when you need a stopwatch to measure how quickly your friends roll their eyes. 
55 likes
Alright, let’s get into it:
• So, you’ve got yourself a Rolex Sea-Dweller—a watch that’s ready to dive to depths you’ll never reach unless you’re building submarines for a living.
• The Cyclops lens is missing, so at least it spares us from magnifying how basic the date feature is. Maybe Rolex knew you’d never use it anyway.
• That helium escape valve? Perfect for all those imaginary saturation dives you’re planning during your workday at sea level.
• Stainless steel? Bold choice. You really didn’t want to risk breaking the bank with precious metals, huh?
• It’s on a cushion—because even a Rolex needs a nap after flexing its “big boy” depth rating.
You’ve got a serious tool watch… now all you need is a serious tool to use it!
21 likes
Alright, here’s my roast for your watch:
“Ah, the Timex Waterbury—perfect for someone who wants to tell time and nothing else. With all those dials, you’d think it could double as a space station control panel, but no, it’s just there to remind you how complicated simplicity can look. The tachymeter bezel is a nice touch—ideal for all those races you time on your way to the grocery store. And that leather strap? A true homage to your dad’s fashion sense circa 1985. Functional, sturdy, and slightly judgmental about your lifestyle choices—this watch says, ‘I care about punctuality, but only if I’m in the mood.’”
5 likes
Tof topic 
Onze hobby zal nooit meer hetzelfde zijn 
7 likes
Let’s roast this watch setup properly then:
You’re wearing a Rolex GMT-Master II “Root Beer,” a watch so flashy it screams, “I’ve got money, but no idea how to spend it subtly.” And those bracelets? Did you raid a friendship bracelet-making kit on the way to a yacht party? The striped shirt says “boardroom,” but the wrist says “Coachella afterparty.” Pick a vibe, my dude!
Also, congrats on letting everyone know the date—it’s like wearing a Rolex but still checking your calendar because you’re just that busy. It’s a great watch, but the wrist stack is doing its best to distract from the fact that you dropped serious cash on it.
Dit is leuk
12 likes
Dit is één groot compliment. Had je echt een roast besteld?
2 likes
Your watch looks like it’s about to give a PowerPoint presentation on why it still belongs in the early 2000s. The “Illuminator” label makes it sound like it should double as a flashlight for spelunking, but let’s be honest—it’s probably just a sad little LED that barely lights up in the dark.
Also, “World Time”? Bro, you’re not an international spy, and the only “world time” you need is to figure out when your favorite show airs. Bonus points for the “10-Year Battery” though—because it means you’ll have a whole decade to contemplate upgrading to something sleeker.
But hey, it screams “practical” and “indestructible,” so props for commitment to utility over style!
12 likes