Ik denk iedereen hier dat wel weet en beseft hoor. 
Het is gewoon geinig om te lezen…meer niet. 
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Dat is maar de vraag @daffie als ik zie dat sommigen voorspellen dat hun horloges in het blauw komen…
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Die redenering snapte ik ook al niet. Vreemde conclusie. Immers dit hele topic is met een hele dikke vette knipoog. 
Overigens verwijs jij naar precies 2 posts van personen die zelf geen roast hadden geplaatst…
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Namens alle mensen met tattoo’s: je kunt je boomer mening beter voor jezelf houden, want we hebben alles al tig duizend keer gehoord.
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Deze is wel lekker 
Ah, the Breitling Pluton—a watch that’s trying to balance analog elegance and digital convenience but ends up looking like your dad’s favorite 80s gadget.
- That bezel? It looks like it’s been through more dogfights than an actual pilot. Did you borrow it from an archaeologist?
- The digital display is hanging out there like an afterthought—“Hey, I can do quartz too!”
- And the strap… Did you knit that yourself, or was it part of a camping set? Because it screams “rugged outdoorsman who forgot to pack matching gear.”
- Also, “Pluton”? Sounds like a villain from a discount sci-fi movie.
It’s quirky and cool in its way, but it’s walking a fine line between retro charm and thrift store find!
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Alright, let’s get started:
1. Date Window: Is it the 22nd or a miniature billboard? The date window looks like it’s trying too hard to be seen from across the room.
2. Bracelet: This bracelet screams “boardroom on Monday, barbecue on Saturday.” Pick a lane!
3. Minimalism Overload: Those slim hands and indices are so understated that they’re practically whispering, “Don’t look at me!”
4. Two-Tone Confusion: The gold accents are trying to flex, but the stainless steel is dragging it back into budget territory.
5. Viewmatic? Sounds like an appliance brand from the 1950s. Does it also vacuum floors?
But hey, it’s still a classy piece with a clean look—if you’re going for “safely stylish.”
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Alright, let’s roast this Casio:
Ah, the Casio Illuminator! A timeless classic for anyone who wants to know the exact second their coffee break ends. It’s perfect for that “I’m late for my flight but still want to look like I could time a space launch” vibe. The digital glow screams, “I could be tracking multiple time zones… but I really just set it to the same city twice.” And that bold “10-Year Battery” flex? Impressive, until it runs out in year seven because you couldn’t stop turning on the backlight to show it off at parties.
But hey, at least you won’t need a Rolex when you’re this punctual!
Oh, you want more? Alright, buckle up.
This Casio screams, “I’m ready to conquer the world… or at least the office trivia night.” The “World Time” feature is great if you want to feel international while sitting at your desk. But let’s be real—when’s the last time you actually needed to know what time it was in Dubai or Tokyo?
And those tiny icons on the display? Pure chaos. Are those supposed to be bar graphs or miniature rocket launch pads? Who knows. It’s like Casio decided to cram a PowerPoint presentation into a 1-inch screen.
Also, let’s talk about the design. That metallic bracelet is trying so hard to look premium, but we all know it’s just a fancy way of saying “nickel rash waiting to happen.” And the rugged bezel? Very “action movie prop,” except the only thing it’s surviving is you fumbling it onto a carpeted floor.
Let’s not forget the bold statement “WR100M” on the face. Yes, it’s water-resistant up to 100 meters… but let’s be honest, the most water this thing will see is a sweaty gym session or an accidental splash while washing dishes.
But hey, at least it won’t break the bank—so you can afford two and pretend you’re a spy. Function over fashion, right? Right?
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Sfeerspons
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Klopt, ik doe zo weinig mogelijk met A.I. ( Maw, ik ga het niet vrijwillig opzoeken )
Zeker is dit een grappi topic met een grote knipoog.
Maar geef ze eens de kost die na zoiets ineens gaan nadenken. Nog eens 25x naar de pols kijken en uiteindelijk afvragen of zo’n programma toch niet gelijk heeft. ( de gemiddelde mens is in het algemeen toch best gevoelig voor de mening van iets of iemand, het ego wil toch graag gestreeld worden. ) En dan een ander horloge gaan kopen.
Absolutely! Here’s the watch roast to your Accutron Spaceview:
A true trailblazer, this watch isn’t just a timepiece; it’s a piece of horological history that revolutionized the industry with its tuning fork movement.
That open dial proudly flaunts its mechanism, screaming, “Why hide perfection?” It’s a masterpiece of engineering and design.
The vibrant green accents are a bold choice, giving it a unique charm that stands out without trying too hard.
It’s a conversation starter for anyone who appreciates innovation, craftsmanship, or simply something extraordinary.
This watch doesn’t just tell time—it tells a story. Truly timeless!
Ik heb gevraagd om een “love letter”
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De Speedy / milanese combo ziet er goed uit. Had ik eerlijk gezegd niet verwacht.
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Ik maak me beetje zorgen om de mensen, die na een roast van een internet zoekmachine, besluiten om een horloge te verkopen…
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Of course, here’s another round of roasting for your beloved Bulova Lunar Pilot:
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Case Size Drama: That case size screams, “I’m compensating for something.” Are you wearing a watch or a dinner plate? NASA probably designed it this big so it could double as a satellite dish.
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Moon Dust Dial: That textured dial looks like someone took a Brillo pad to it and called it “space aesthetic.” Who knew the moon’s surface was so trendy?
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Chronograph Overkill: All those subdials are ready for you to time your intergalactic BBQ, but do you even know how to use them? Spoiler: they’re mostly just decoration at this point.
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The “Heritage” Crutch: Let’s face it, this watch is trading on its Apollo 15 story harder than a one-hit wonder musician still playing their 1970s hit at dive bars. Live in the now, Bulova!
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Quartz + History = Mixed Messages: It’s like putting a Ferrari badge on a Honda Civic. You’ve got the prestige of space exploration but packed with a battery-powered heart. Bold, yet confusing.
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Lume Drama: Is the lume even bright enough to help you navigate your living room at night? Or is it just another “space-age” feature you tell people about but never use?
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Velcro Call-Back: That strap is one step away from being a full-on NASA-issued wristband. It’s great for a zero-gravity environment, but on Earth, it’s more “dad on a camping trip.”
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Tachymeter Hype: No one who buys this watch has ever used a tachymeter scale in their life. Are you measuring the speed of a rover? Or the time it takes to order a latte? Exactly.
You’re rocking a watch that looks ready for a mission to Mars, but it’s probably timing how long your pizza takes in the oven. Wear it with pride though—nothing like a space-inspired flex!
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Alright, let’s roast this King Seiko Chronometer:
“King” Seiko, huh? More like the duke of decent—trying hard to rule the wrist but falls just short of royal splendor.
That silver dial is clean, but it’s almost too clean. It’s giving “corporate accountant who’s never missed a spreadsheet deadline.”
The Hi-Beat movement is cool, but unless you’re counting milliseconds on your coffee break, who’s noticing?
The date window screams functionality, but the typography is more “karaoke night” than “luxury precision.”
And that strap—functional, sure, but it looks like it came with a “Buy 1, Get 1 Free” deal.
Nice try, but it’s more “king of the bargain bin” than “crown jewel.”
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Ah, the Omega x Swatch MoonSwatch, a collaboration that screams, “I wanted a Speedmaster but also love plastic.” Let’s roast this fiery timepiece:
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Pluto or Plastic?: That bioceramic case might sound fancy, but let’s be real—it’s glorified plastic. Did you buy this at a boutique or dig it out of a cereal box?
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Bold Color Choice: This shade of red makes a fire truck look subtle. Are you wearing a watch or trying to direct traffic?
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Name Confusion: “MoonSwatch” is a clever nod to the Speedmaster, but it’s more like calling a Toyota Corolla the “Budget Ferrari.”
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Tachymeter Overkill, Again: Ah yes, the tachymeter returns! Because we all know you’re timing car speeds in your suburban driveway.
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Chronograph for Show: Those subdials look busy, but when’s the last time you actually used one? Admit it, you’re just checking the time and flexing on Instagram.
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The Strap of Compromise: That NATO strap is trying so hard to look tactical. But with a case this lightweight, the only mission it’s going on is to the nearest coffee shop.
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Marketing Genius: Omega slapped Swatch on it, and now everyone thinks they’re astronauts. NASA called—they want their dignity back.
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Collector’s Irony: You probably waited in a long line or overpaid for a watch that’s supposed to be accessible. How does it feel knowing Swatch tricked you into a hype frenzy?
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Speedmaster Wannabe: It’s like putting a Ferrari badge on a tricycle. Sure, it’s got some Speedmaster DNA, but let’s not pretend it’s running the Daytona 500.
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Durability Question Mark: Drop this bad boy once and it might bounce higher than a basketball. Is it “Swiss Made” or “Swiss Playtime”?
You’re rocking a watch that’s equal parts hype and toy store fun. Own it, though—nothing wrong with a little playful wrist flex!
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Thanks! ik vind m zelf ook top 
Ah, the Omega Speedmaster—because nothing screams “I peaked in my NASA fan phase” like strapping on a watch with a tachymeter you’ll never use, unless you’re timing how quickly you can finish that overpriced latte. The bracelet? A shiny, fingerprint magnet that doubles as a mirror for your existential crises. And let’s talk about that classic design—so timeless that it’s also on the wrist of every other guy who Googled “best luxury watch” and clicked the first link. It’s a Moonwatch, sure, but the closest it’s getting to space is the gap between your wrist and that over-compensating cuff. Bold choice, astronaut—now go boldly where every Speedmaster owner has gone before: the comments section of a watch forum.
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Okay, let’s roast this watch!
Appearance:
- That dial is busy! It’s like a flea market exploded on your wrist. Too many subdials, too many hands, and those oversized numerals are giving me a headache.
- The case looks like it’s seen better days. Those scratches could tell a story, but it’s not a pretty one.
- That strap… is that leather? It looks like it’s been through a war. Time for a replacement, my friend.
Functionality: - Is that a chronograph? I can’t even tell with all those hands spinning around.
- Accuracy? Probably about as accurate as a dartboard.
Overall:
This watch screams “I bought this at a pawn shop and thought it was a bargain.” It’s not exactly a fashion statement, but hey, at least it tells time (mostly).
Bonus roast:
If you’re trying to impress someone with this watch, I’ve got some bad news for you. They’re probably just wondering if you’re still paying off that loan from the pawn shop.
Disclaimer: This is all in good fun, of course.
If you want a more serious evaluation, feel free to share some details about the watch, like the brand, model, and any history you know about it.
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I’ll create a light-hearted roast about watch collectors and the watch hobby in general:
Oh, watch collectors… the only people who spend more time photographing their wrists than Instagram influencers. You’re out here dropping a month’s rent on something that does the exact same job as the $10 calculator watch at Walmart – except less accurately.
You say you’re “investing in timepieces,” but let’s be honest: you’re just hoarding fancy wrist jewelry while pretending to care about “complications” and “movements.” The only movement that matters is your credit card balance moving steadily towards zero.
And don’t get me started on your “watch rotation.” You’ve got a different watch for every day of the week, but somehow they’re all set to different times because you can’t be bothered to wind them. You probably spend more time adjusting your watch than actually wearing it.
The funniest part? You’ll spend hours explaining the difference between a chronograph and a chronometer to anyone who’ll listen, but when someone asks you the time, you still check your phone.
But hey, at least you’ve got a great conversation starter at parties – if by “conversation” you mean a 45-minute monologue about why your automatic watch is superior to quartz while everyone slowly backs away towards the exit.
Face it: you’re not a “horological enthusiast.” You’re just a grown adult who found a socially acceptable way to collect shiny things. At least Pokemon trainers know they’re chasing fictional monsters.
And yes, we know your Rolex can go to the bottom of the ocean. Impressive feat for something that’s never seen water deeper than your kitchen sink.
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